Things I Learned And Wrote At Age 24
- Trust is the price of a lie.
- If you believe the first verse of the Bible, you shouldn't have a problem with any of the others.
- Heaven is full of people who did good. Hell is full of people who meant to do good.
- Secret knowledge is better than open erudition.
- Peace is the foundation upon which joy is built.
- Words are the actualization of the mind, but actions are the actualization of the heart.
- Failure is the pavement of success and trying is the first step toward failure.
- The principal characteristic of marriage is nonrepudiability.
- If we would seek solace when a loved one departs, we shall find it only in strengthening the bonds between the loved ones that remain.
- Marriage is held together by threads, not chains.
- We must all seem as the mentally handicapped to God.
- A married person can never say, "That's none of your business."
- Every human being alive knows some kind of love.
Why is it that humans seek each other in times of struggle? Why do we so strongly desire empathy?
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong to love someone who has rejected you?
There are some who do not seek others out in times of trouble. Nevertheless, the reason that, as a general trend, humans seek each other out in times of trouble is because there is one thing that humans regard as the worse than all other ills, and that is to be lonely. When difficulties of life arise, we need the one solace that keeps humans from insanity, and that is fellowship: The condition or relation of being a fellow. Truly that is the most basic emotional need of every human on Earth; and it is why (as stated in this post) every human being alive knows some kind of love - without it, we would surely prefer death to life.
DeleteAs for the question: Is it wrong to love someone who has rejected you? It is never wrong to love anyone.
I have come the conclusion that (for me personally) fellowship with the one person I love the most and who knows me best is far more beneficial (in dealing with a struggle) than the fellowship of many people who do not know me as well. What if that one person does not feel the same towards you, and when you seek fellowship they simply ignore you? Are you to simply deal with it on your own?
Delete(I apologize if this questioning on life is not the purpose of this blog. The reason I write to you is because you appear to be wise.)
The standing offer of this blog is to answer any question asked.
DeleteIf you love someone who does not or cannot return those affections, you have just walked into the world of incentives (benefits vs. drawbacks). Assuming the person in question is aware of the other's feelings that they do not share, one is left with two options: wait or leave. When the benefits of the possibility of being with someone outweigh the loneliness of waiting, one waits with patience for the circumstances to change. When the drawbacks of patience and the fear of missing out on the next part of life outweigh the hope of reciprocation, one moves on. The romantic wants to believe and wait for the person to come to a realization that will change their affections, but the pragmatist doesn't want to squander life by pining for something that will never be. Which route you will go is determined by how you answer one question: How much faith do you have (truly, not ideally) in the relationship. If you have faith that it is meant to be, you will wait. If you have enough uncertainty, that uncertainty will be the fuel that moves you beyond that person.
Unrequited love is a rough game, indeed.
DeleteReturning to the chosen diction is, here, intriguing; the way you've phrased it, emotionally shaped it is particular, precise. Your predicament lends itself to a perfectly academic thread. "Is it wrong to love someone who has rejected you?" Three focal points: Wrong, Love, Rejected.
What is Wrong? I equate Right and Good and define Good in the Greek sense, as every and any thing that is both useful and beautiful. I’ll make a leap and claim that Love is always beautiful. Is your love useful? What function does it serve?
Must it serve a function? If your love is to be good, and right, then yes. But, to ping-pong: Perhaps love is neither right nor wrong! Maybe Love is just true. Truth lies insulated from right and wrong, exists outside of morality; Truth simply is. So maybe You loving Him without Him loving You is just True. If you can get in the right headspace, it doesn’t have to hurt. If you can find this release, you can heal.
Love itself does not mandate action. Desire does. Longing stirs unrest. Lacking makes us think that something must be done because I do think, in the end, we all want peace. If love is what I hope it is, it is clear and complete. Wanting, however. Wanting is a hunger, and hunger fundamentally demands action. If love is whole, why does it suck? It's not Love that sucks, it's wanting. Because wanting is different than having.
Rejection. You must have expressed not only your love but some desire that has prompted a reaction that you find dissatisfying: In short, a refusal. You didn’t get what you wanted. I recommend focusing energy on recovery rather than dwelling on the imbalance of affection. Asymmetry happens. It is an inescapable truth. You cannot instill love and longing that does not already exist because, of course, you have no hand in designing others’ hearts. We don’t know what moves another’s soul. It is that mystery is what makes us talk to each other. That’s what makes us social beings. That’s what makes us seek one another in times of struggle. That’s what makes us fall in love. If you can’t make Him love you back, what can you do?
Rejected doesn’t necessarily mean dejected. You have options. You can change the boundaries of your desire. Color outside the lines of your love. If you can’t have Him in that ideal capacity, what capacity could you live with? Can you be friends? Can you forgive Him for not wanting you the same way? Will you?
If you can’t change Him and you won’t change you, that’s a textbook stalemate in chess. Not right or wrong, good or bad. Just a stalemate. Time to start a new game.
So, what he said. Wait or leave.
DeleteBut if you wait, you best get thick skin and a durable smile.
Waiting assumes hoping, and Hope was the last out of Pandora's box for a reason. Waiting can be one the worst thing you can do to yourself and to others. It allows room for resent to creep in, and resent distorts love.
If you wait, do so gracefully.
PS That took me SO long to submit the way I wanted. #blogspotisweird #tumblrgirl #cantstopwontstop